I’ve got this big truck project going on right now, which means that most of my “free” time is spent in my garage tearing up a perfectly good Chevy and making it cool. This weekend was no different, as pretty much all of my time was spent in my 2-car wrenching on metal. Yesterday though, we made the trek out to West Phoenix to have dinner with my lady friend’s family.

A little history here; I’m from old-stock. I’m a recently naturalized citizen from Canada, and my family has roots back to the 12th century in England. My girlfriend has mostly Irish roots, which you can really see in her pale skin and cute freckles.

Her family tree is a bit more spread out though. Her family tree has more branches than Wells Fargo. Her mom & dad had her at a very young age, and have since divorced and remarried 4-times each. They’re in their 40’s.

Oh she’s 23 btw. I’m 29.

So the family we were going to see yesterday was her dad Mark, and his current wife, Cathy. She’s hispanic, and I’m pretty sure English is her second language. She has one son, Julio, who’s married to Annessa, and they have a 15 month old.

I haven’t spent much time with them, mainly because I feel so awkward when I’m there. As a comic, and a general extrovert, you’d think I could make anyone laugh or at least work in a conversation. Normally, that’s true, but not so with Cathy and the crew. Lots of times I think what I’m saying is lost in translation, or that I’m looked at as some rich kid from Scottsdale who’s “slumming it” with them. At least that’s my impression.

Flash to last night, and when I get there, Julio and Annessa are smoking on the back patio.

Another little bit of backstory: I’ve got a ton of allergies. Yes, I’m a little putz in that respect. I also have a pretty good case of asthma, something which is triggered by two things; Exercise and cigarette smoke.

The last time I was at the house, the family smoked away from me. This time, Julio and Annessa didn’t remember this, although Mark did and walked away from me to smoke.

Right away I’ve got a bad feeling about this, because Cathy’s gay brother is there too, and he’s in a short pair of translucent green shorts. I’ve spent about 4 hours with this guy, and I’ve never heard him say anything in english, but I have caught him checking me out. I could care less that he’s gay, but the kid is almost a mute, and when he does speak its in spanish. Man I wish I had stayed awake in high school.

The dinner was great. There was this crazy beef deal, tortillas, salsa, shrimp in salsa, all sorts of great Mexican dishes, and all authentic. Good stuff. But while we’re eating and chatting, Cathy just turns to her brother and Julio and starts talking in spanish. Our conversation was apparently not interesting enough for them, and that really bugs me. I think it’s super rude for someone to just shift languages in a dinner conversation, it makes me feel like they’re either talking about me, or trying to keep something from us.

Call it what you will, I felt weird.

The conversation was stilted at best, but I ate my food, complimented Cathy on the delicious eats, and got a half smile as her head turned to talk to her brother. There was lots of dead air in between strained jokes on my part. Then the table just started disappearing.

Next thing I know I’m at the table with my g/f, and Julio is at the other end smoking and talking to his buddy who just showed up.

I spent 20 minutes just sitting there with my woman, exchanging awkward glances. After a lot of whispering, we decided it was time to leave. It was 6:20.

We got there at 5.

And that was my weekend. Yours?

So I put out a feeler to my real estate agent, to see what’s out there that I can afford. What I’m looking for is essentially warehouse space — a roll up garage door, a large workspace, a bathroom, cold a/c and a small office, maybe 10X10.

A few years back I had a business in the Scottsdale Airpark, and I was able to rent out 2000 sq ft for $1000 a month. I figure I can deal with a smaller space, maybe pay around a grand a month, hopefully a little less. Either way its an improvement over the 400 sq ft I have now.

Not an hour after I sent out an email, my realtor comes back with 4 properties that fit the bill. One of them is right by ASU, and although thats not exactly ideal considering I live in North Scottsdale, the location would be great to pull in some side jobs near campus.

Me and the lady end up piling in the tC and heading down there to check it out yesterday, and lemme tell ya. Wow.

The location isn’t quite as ideal as I thought originally. It’s back off the main road, by a good 100 yards or so, and not visible from the street at all. In fact you have to go through two different complexes to find it. The building itself isn’t mammoth, but there are 8 stalls cramped into each side of the building that looks like its been standing there since 1940. It’s brick construction, and when you see it, you think that its the place that time forgot. I mean seriously, this place is shoved into a corner and even though I’ve frequented the nearby businesses, I NEVER knew this place was there.

At best, you’d call this place a dump.

But for me, it just might be perfect. I’ll keep you updated.

So those tiles aren’t light. Apparently they put them on first, because 100 sq ft of those bad boys is around 2400 lbs. They actually install them before they do any sheetrocking, because it helps to settle the house. Otherwise sheetrock would crack, and that’s no bueno.

Another little tid-bit. Apparently tile roofs are called “50 year roofs” because they never need maintenance.

Yeah that ain’t true.

Turns out you need to wash the gutters out, and by gutters I meant the areas where two different peaks of the roofs meet.

If you don’t, then you have to climb up there, and push out all the crap that’s accumulated in there or else you’ll get a leak.

Like the one I have in my office.

So since getting a roofer during monsoon season is harder than trying to get Lindsay Lohan to eat a cupcake, the very acrophobic Kevin Whipps will be climbing onto his roof this week to clean some gutters.

Good times.

One of the super cool things about Money is that you can do reports on what you spend your money on, and who its with. I did a little searching and here’s what I found.

In the past 6 months, I’ve spent $700 on Subway.

Yet I don’t look like Jared.

See I work in the Scottsdale Airpark. There are three subways nearby; One at Thunderbird & Scottsdale, one at Raintree and Northsight, and one at Frank Lloyd Wright and 90th.I always get the same thing: A 6″ meatball on white, light sauce, with american cheese, lots of parmesean and a little oregano, and a bag of BBQ Baked lays. Sometimes I’ll throw in a trio of cookies for good measure. If I get any drink, it’s water, but I’ve got that at the office.

For what I order, I pay usually around $4, depending on which Subway I go to. That’s a cheap lunch, and since I’m frugal (read: cheap) it works out well. Plus my boss likes it when I’ll buy him some oatmeal raisin cookies.

Anyone else think that I’m frackin nuts for spending this much money on meatballs?

Instead, I stick with the heroin.

Ok, I kid. Remember, I’m a comic.

Since my girlfriend is off having a horrible time in Iowa, I’m at a loss on what to do tonight other than watch Battlestar Galactica. I just got a call from my long-time pal Brent, who informed me that a mutual “associate” (read: Chick who’s hot but annoying) is celebrating her birthday at Sugar Daddy’s tonight, and I’m invited.

If you haven’t been there, go. It’s located in the heart of Old Town Scottsdale, and is a pretty cool place to go to. It’s a patio style bar, where most of the bar itself is outside with little seats and umbrellas everywhere. There’s even a courtesy limo there that will wisk you to Dos Gringos, which is owned by the same company.

The man who owns this business is a frackin’ genius. Between the patio concept, the limo, and the really cool and hip looking locations, he’s got a good setup.

My suggestion? Go there. Now. Look for the husky guy with the Red Sox hat and glasses, and ask him if he’s got Battlestar Tivo’d. I’m sure you’ll know the answer.

About 6 months ago, I met my girlfriend Kirsten. She’s very health concious, and before I met her, she had just lost 50 pounds.

Problem was, when we started dating, she picked up some of my bad eating habits and put on some weight. To combat that, she started running twice a day, and working out.

Well she’s doing good with everything, and loves running, so one of her friends signed the two of them up to run a marathon. It’s to support the American Stroke Association, and it’s a nationwide event. There will be a half marathon here in town in November, which is what she’s training for.

Anyways it’s a good cause, and she’s trying to raise some money for it. If you’d like to donate, please click here, and make a pledge. Doesn’t take much. Even if you don’t want to donate, consider attending the event, or maybe even joining it yourself. It’s for a good cause, one I’m sure all of us can get behind.

Her flight was on America West, which is in Terminal 4. After cruising the car up 9 stories in those crazy spiral driveways, we found parking. As soon as we hit level 3, it was like I had entered a whole new world. New shops, a new layout, new tiles being put down everywhere. It was like I was at the mall, but if I wanted to go to Hawaii I could do that too. One of the shops sold iPods, which made me think, “Well that’d be great if they were precharged and had music on them, but otherwise it’s a $300 piece of plastic until they touch down.” They also had DVD’s at the same store, which I guess makes sense. Lots of people would watch movies on their laptop if they had them, so maybe that’s what they do.

There’s also a Chili’s there, where we met her Mom for lunch. Service sucked, but it was a really cool place, all clean and neat. TV’s all over showing NBA Inside Stuff, and lots of chips & queso for a hungry Kevvy.

I dropped her off an hour ago, and I already miss her. I swear I’m such a tool.

When the attacks in London happened a few weeks ago, they put out a suggestion that people program in a phone number in their cell labelled ICE which stands for In Case of Emergency. This number is supposed to be a contact for someone who can provide a medical history, or get to a hospital if you’re in an accident or otherwise incapacitated. If you have more than one contact, label them ICE2, ICE3 and so on.

Now normally I don’t go for stuff like this, but after a pretty wicked car accident a few years ago, I feel like I should be ready just in case. So I busted out my Treo 600, and entered my mom’s name under ICE, and Dad’s under ICE2. The nice thing about my phone is that under each contact I have TONS of space for extras. What I ended up doing was putting in what medications I take, what allergies I have, and so on.

I can only hope that it never has to be used, but if it does, I’m prepared.

But let me tell you why I’m not a big fan of the rain.

First there’s my dog Pepper. She’s a beagle, super cute, and about 10, maybe 12 years old. I adopted her from the pound about 5 years ago, and she’s made a great addition to the family.

Now my house has a doggie door, which Pepper learned right away, which was great. Then after a while, I started noticing puddles on my tile after a night of rain. These just aren’t little spots either, they’re small lakes forming in my living room. Good times to be sure.

Well I can only theorize that she doesn’t like getting wet, or doesn’t like getting her paws muddy or something, because she won’t go outside when it rains. I end up getting a bucket full of bleach and hot water to clean it up, so my house smells like the Cactus Park pool for the next week. Good times.

Then there’s my other problem, the car situation. See I build custom cars and trucks, and I’ve got this whole 3-car rotation thing worked out that’s super complicated, and probably won’t interest you, but just in case, here’s a link.

Anywho, one of these projects is in the middle of bodywork, so there’s some bare metal, no windows, and some bare filler on it. It’s one of those things that really shouldn’t be left in the rain, so it stays in my little 2-car garage next to my other project.

Well on Wed, my lovely girlfriend Kirsten is going off for a family reunion, and will be gone for a week and a half. That means her car will be here, which means I can get a big project done on my 2nd project. It’s part of a tech article which I’m doing for one of the magazines I write for, and the 10 days that she’s gone means lots of time for me to get it done, and a vehicle to drive.

But to DO this project, the 1st truck needs to be parked outside. Which wouldn’t normally be a problem but…

Apparently it’s going to rain all week long. Now I’ve got to find a place to store my baby which is nearby the casa in N. Scottsdale, is either free or cheap, which won’t let it get wet. Yeah good luck with that.

Stinkin’ rain.

What else should you know about me? I’m a writer and photographer for several custom car and truck magazines. I also do a little stand-up here and there, so if I decide to make another stage appearance, I’ll be sure to let you know. I also build custom cars and trucks, mostly of the lowered variety. Now picture a lowered Chevy, bombing down Frank Lloyd Wright with tons of BMW’s all around you. That’s my daily commute.

Oh and I also have a website: kevinwhipps.com. It’s a bit baudy and crass, but that’s ok, it’s all in fun. Just know that you’ve been warned.

I’m also a long poster, and this is going to be my first experiment with Movable Type, so after the jump, let me tell you about my first drive through Scottsdale.

In 1987, I was 11 years old, and my sister was 7. The weather in Boston was killing us, and we just had to get off the east coast. After a few trips out here, my parents decided to relocate the whole family, business, and everything out west to Scottsdale. They bought a house near Pinnacle Peak, we packed up a 40+ foot Ryder truck, and made the 2000+ mile drive to Phoenix.

Oh and they decided the best time to move would be August.

I don’t know where my Dad got his directions, because back then we hadn’t heard of any “internet”, but we ended up cruising in through the back roads of Payson, and in through Fountain Hills. We took the beeline all the way through until we hit McDowell, turned right, and cruised on towards the apartment where we’d be staying until the house was completed.

Dad didn’t really know the town that well yet, and negotiating through Scottsdale in a huge Ryder truck was a pretty crazy feat. Our apartment was off of Hayden and Thomas, but somehow we ended up at Thomas and Scottsdale, lost as all heck. It was there that I have my very first memory of Scottsdale.

That memory was of turning the corner, and seeing my very first adult shop: Zorbas.

Growing up in Boston, I had never seen an adult store, much less known what it was. All I knew was that it was a run-down looking building, with lots of cars out front, but no windows. Then as we drove past, one guy walked in with his collar up. I remember thinking, “Someday, I’ll go in there.”

It’s been almost 20 years since that day and you know what? I’ve still never been.

Maybe this weekend.