I am sitting in a restaurant watching the guy at the next table ruin his food by adding ketchup. He is insulting the chef, insulting cultural traditions, and digusting me with this act of vandalism. My partner tells me to chill. That he is just making it his own. He probably likes it that way. I sigh. This is why I cannot get good Japanese or Mexican in this town. Because of small minded phoodies with immature tastes.

I am resigned to the fact that if I want good mexican food there are a number of folks who will gladly show me to the border. And even more who will volunteer to drive me there, though most would probably point me to a Chipotle. I am resigned to the fact that most sushi places serve rancid fish that should be covered in ketchup.

This is not a rant against fusion but against phusion. I have been to some amazing fusion restaurants, Ciao Mein comes to mind - italian/chinese. I like creative chefs who mix avacado, fish roe, and eel. But these chefs respect their food. They understand its unique flavors and celebrate them.

Food, like language and culture, is difficult. It is challenging. Really amazing food can be a difficult read. There is a complexity and depth that may be subtle. There can be a dissonance at first, but try it. Open yourself up to it.

I like westerns and frites. Sorry, hamburgers and french fries. Sorry, freedom fries. I like them with ketchup. Yeah, Heinz 57. But, I also like tonkotsu ramen, mole negro oaxaqueño, and daan taat. Okay, I hated uni when I first tried and still hate it. But I have never tried to make it my bitch.

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