I’m really not one to complain. Really. Ask any of my friends and family. I’m not the complainer of the group. I find that complaining does usually get you anywhere, it just annoys people. But, every once in a while, I need to vent.

America West. America Worst. US Airways. Whatever you want to call it.

I had a meeting in Dallas at 6:30 tonight. Actually, a training class. 100 people waiting for me.

I head to the airport at 8 a.m. for a 10:15 flight. Arrive without incident, breeze through security in an easy 20 minutes, which was pretty good considering it’s Presidents’ Day. Wait to board flight. And wait.

And wait. And wait.

At 10:15 they announce that the flight is delayed. No SH_T Sherlock! Maintenance delay. Ok, fix it and let’s get on with it.

We board about 10:50. And then, we wait. And wait. And wait.

At 11:40 they announce that we’re delayed. Really? I never would’ve guessed. Maintenance delay. We must now deplane and wait.

And wait. They tell us they’ll have more info about 12:30.

I wait. At 12:30, they announce they’ll have more info at 2:30. At 1:00 I get to the desk and change my flight tomorrow. I’ll never make it in time for my class tonight, but hopefully I can get there for the second class tomorrow night.

We love our hometown airline!

I made an eep noise like a little girl. Not my proudest moment. It took several seconds for the dissonance to clear and the pattern recognition to kick in. There in the middle of my kitchen floor was a huge scorpion. One evil inch of the stuff nightmares are made of. I grab a glass and trying to not eep anymore cover the beast with it.

I flash to a talk given by Ranger Scott from The Riparian Institute. The bigger the claws the lesser the, uh, venomousity (was that the word he used?). I peek through the glass. Everything being relative, and this thing being the first scorpion I have ever seen, how big is big?

A much discussed topic, but more than once a year I must publicly profess my love of Trader Joe’s. Your 3 liter bottles of wine on sale flow like warm waters over the lip of a tropical waterfall and your cheeses smelt of elderberry. Your Red Curry Tuna doth tingle my tastebuds to the Nth degree and your Miso soup makes miso happy!. Trader Darwin, oh how you nourish my body and soul. Your Middle Eastern Flatbreads provide the blank canvas upon which I build many a personal pizza. Your Garlic Naan, the Tzatziki vessel. Thy boxed soups, much more appetizing than the container in which they come, are wondrous dipping sauces for Turkey sandwiches slathered with your zesty Pesto alla Genovese. Flash frozen fish doth defrost quite nicely, and tantalizes the pallate when seasoned with Wasabi Ginger. Your potstickers, they fry so loudly, leaving my home smelling of burnt noodle and soy. Oh Soy Nut Butter, much cheaper than real Peanut, you make my ants on a log so smooth and creamy. And how could anyone forget the Glee gum at checkout, made from rainforest chicle, so natural and minty. Mmm. Yes there are many praiseworthy objects in thy establishment, and I shall never move to a state without thee.

So, by now you’ve probably heard about the Robinsons-May stores closing due to the Macy’s merger deal. But, did you know they’ve got the storewide sales going on now? I had to crack up at the sign that said something like “20-40% off storewide, nothing held back” and then in smaller print it had a list of exceptions. There ARE some very good deals there, but there are also some things that are pretty much only average even after the 40% off. Still, shopping is fun, and even more so when there’s the hope of some bargains.

First they get Southwest Airlines (finally!) and now a Metblog. It’s about time Denver. Flying to Denver was never quite cheap prior to Southwest. Now, however, you can get Internet Only one way fares for $51. I’ve never been to Denver, but it’s about time I get going there. Maybe I’ll even get to see some precipitation. I don’t know if I remember what rain or snow feels or smells like. Breckenridge here I come!

P.S. Happy Valentines Day!

Are there any wax museums here? I forgot how much I love those things until we went to Madame Tussaud’s this weekend in Vegas. Just the right amount of kitsch without being too tacky. I love old amusement parks and outdated tourist spots.

In San Antonio, we have a Ripley’s Believe It or Not! and an accompanying wax museum (located across from the Alamo, of course). My favorite part is the haunted portion of the wax museum which warns pregnant women and epileptics not to take the tour because of strobe lights and lasers and SCARY WAX FIGURES FROM 1975 REPRESENTING MOVIES THAT NOBODY EVEN REMEMBERS. Which also adds to the excellence, naturally.

We also have the oldest US amusement park built specifically for children- Kiddie Park. It has all these random outdated rides that are like Lincoln Logs compared to Xbox. For instance, metal planes with machine guns, boats that float in a dirty water tank, a bus that travels in a small circle, etc. The rides are all smushed together and there are picnic tables for birthday parties there. It’s all run down and trashy and only costs about 15 cents to get in, but it’s so great that it hasn’t been torn down and looks EXACTLY the same as it did 30, 40, etc. years ago.

For those of you who have lived here for a number of years, are there any places you used to frequent as a child that are a) still standing and open for patronage or b)partially torn down but creepy/interesting to check out or c)no longer standing but that you wish you could visit?

The Arizona Renaissance Festival. It starts today and runs through April 2nd, but only on the weekends. I always like to watch the falconry and Don Juan and Miguel.

The VNSA booksale, that is :)

If you haven’t been to it before but love reading, NOW is the time to go. (And if you have been before, I’m sure you’ll be going again.)

Once a year, the Volunteer Nonprofit Service Association puts on a gi-normous booksale at the Arizona State Fairgrounds. And by “gi-normous” I mean more than half a million used books, all for sale at obscenely cheap prices. Collector books, series, textbooks, cookbooks, mysteries, science fiction, you name it and it’s there. For more info, go to http://vnsabooksale.org/.

It’s been 113 days without rain and I don’t know how much longer I can make it. The crick is mostly dried up and there are no fish to be had. Even the frogs stopped croaking a long time ago. We’ve taken to eating berries and miscellaneous nonpoisonous plants for sustenance, for Pa’s eyesight is far too poor to aim bow and arrow at rabbits or deer and our garden dried up except for some old turnips. I told Pa that I’ve got real good aim but Ma won’t let me near the bow and arrow ever since I shot Pa’s eye out. I hate Ma in her old calico dress. I said “Damn!” in front of her and she stuck a bar of lye soap in my mouth. There’s no shortage of soap bars since we’ve got no water to wash ourselves or our clothes. I’m so hungry I could just about eat that lye soap sometimes. There used to be a wild dog near here that I nicknamed “Skinnybones” who was my only friend, but he disappeared the same day Ma said she found a salted ham in the attic and made it into stew. Now my best friend is a turnip. I sure hope it rains soon.

I guess it must be the time of the year to eat bugers. I had 4 burger meals between Fri. lunch and Mon. lunch.

Burger 1: Lenny’s Burger Shop on Thomas & Central. This place is always hopping at lunchtime, and no wonder, the food is AWESOME. Great burgers, great fries, and Jamaica drink mix on the soda fountain!

Burger 2: The Loft on Mill. I was there to see a live band. The burger was alright, a bit salty, and cooked a bit too long. The fries and the band were good however.

Burger 3: In-N-Out Tempe. Always good and priced right. Their fresh cut fries are always tasty especially since they actually taste like potato!

Burger 4: Carl’s Jr. Original Single. Never can complain about Carl’s Jr, shoulda gotten the $6 burger though. Opt for chili cheese fries instead of the standard fare.

If you’re curious, my usual dressing is MKLT, that’s Mayo, Ketchup, Lettuce, Tomato. No wonder why my pants feel a little tight, although it could be the brick I ate for lunch today (Chipotle Steak Burrito).