Check out the Tempe Community Chorus. Their next concert is November 28th from 7:00-7:30 P.M at the Mesa Mormon temple. They also have a concert on December 11th at Corona Del Sol High School in Tempe. And, they are looking for new voices. According to the Tempe Today newsletter, they are especially seeking “tenors, baritones and basses. The spring season begins January 9; practices are held at the University Presbyterian Church. For information, call 602/568-8705 or visit www.tempechorus.org.”

If so, what did you get? And why is it called Black Friday anyway?

We got a framed poster out of storage recently, and before we could hang it our dog got a little too enthusiastic with his tail and the glass broke. So needless to say, we needed to get the glass replaced. We called a major chain store (why, I’m not sure) and got a quote over the phone. $60, and it would take 3-5 days to get the glass in. Hm, I thought. Why did we call them?

I quickly looked up the framing store that I actually LIKE in my file, and checked to see if they were open this afternoon. (Thinking they might be closing early for Thanksgiving.) They were open, so I dropped by with the poster. It’s a great place. There are hundreds of sample frames on the wall, and there’s a little gallery there too where they host a different artist every month or two.

But what’s really nice about it is how friendly and helpful they are. He took one look at the poster, and asked if I minded waiting about 10 minutes while he replaced it right then. I thought about it for 2 seconds and decided that nope, I didn’t mind waiting. I didn’t even ask the price. It’s one of those places where you know they will be fair. About 5 minutes and $27 later, the replacement glass was in.

So if you need some framing done, check out Bill’s Custom Frames, 910 S Hohokam #105, Tempe. Or give them a call at 480/968-1771.

(Incidentally, Matt Mays is the artist currently featured in their gallery. His work will be there until December 31st. Drop by and see if you can figure out what his paintings are of.)

If there’s anyone reading who doesn’t actually know what 5 & Diner is, it’s basically a 1950’s-themed restaurant. There are a few locations in the Phoenix area, so this explanation is for non-Phoenicians who may be reading.

Anyway, 5 & Diner is the only place I’ve seen that serves the egg cream, which is a beverage made up of milk, chocolate syrup and seltzer water. I’d been wanting one for weeks, and I had never had one before. Last night, I finally got to see why the drink is so popular in Brooklyn. It tastes great! I usually don’t like gimmick restaurants, but if it means going to 5 & Diner once a month just to get an egg cream, I’m all for it.

Probably, you normally associate Scandinavian with minimalism, not excess. Except in the case of IKEA. Of course, though, that’s American excess in a Scandinavian minimalist environment.

I love IKEA, but it’s a mad house. You wander though the aisles like spawning salmon. You don’t have any control over where you want to go.

We are blessed with the IKEA at Warner and I-10. It’s a great addition to the Phoenix Metropolitan area. If you haven’t been to IKEA, I highly recommend to pack the kids and a juice box and head over for a looksee. No need to pack a lunch as there’s a cafe in the store. Stop by for Swedish meatballs, ya?

Do you know what IKEA stands for?
The I and K stand for Ingvar Kamprad, the Swedish gentleman who founded IKEA in 1943. The E and A stand for Elmtaryd and Agunnaryd the farm and village, respectively, that Mr. Kamprad grew up in.

The Tempe IKEA is 342,000 square feet! My house could fit in that store 342 times! It would have 684 bedrooms and 684 bathrooms! That’s excessive.

So, anyway, the whole point is this…I found the PERFECT time to go to IKEA. Monday at 11 a.m. It was dead. No one was there, I breezed through the aisles with little competition with my IKEA shopping cart.

Have you noticed that the shopping carts at IKEA are perfection? They actually go forward, backward and even glide sideways. My shopping cart at Safeway always skips, jumps, bumps and tries to get away from me. Not the IKEA shopping carts.

But at 11 on Monday morning, IKEA is quiet, manageable, and there were plenty of staff around to offer assistance. The staff really is good — super helpful and they know their stuff.

$600 and 2 hours later, I was on my way. Back to my car only 11 parking spots away from the front door.

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Visited Arizona Mills this wekend shopping for coats and left with a black wool coat for Presh and two slashed tires. What personal history drives someone to take a knife to tires? This makes me sad and slightly uneasy.

Would it be inappropriate to go to the mall and ride one of those wide load mini-transportation vehicles like they have at the airport that goes between terminals with a whining yellow siren light and a horn to honk? Because I think that would be the only way to barrel through the 14 year olds that walk 10 abreast at the slowest pace possible, thereby making my shopping experience mildly bearable.

Last night my friend Carole and I sat in my backyard by the firepit on big comfy lounge chairs watching Desperate Housewives on the new TV I just got for my patio. We eventually did have to wrap ourselves in blankets, but only after it dropped below 65 degrees. Meanwhile, friends on the east coast emailed me today complaining about freezing temperatures and rain. Winter in Phoenix is the best!

Since so many newcomers comment about Phoenix traffic, I thought I’d write up a little guide to explain the unwritten rules of driving in Phoenix. Once you understand these rules, you’ll be fine, and your days of complaining about the lack of turn signals will turn to where they more properly belong: to days of complaining about the heat, your hour-long commute and how you can’t afford gas for your SUV.

1. Traffic laws are a guideline, unless a traffic camera is in operation.

2. If you’re going 5 MPH under the speed limit, you are probably:
  a) a snowbird
  b) from Washington state originally, but not a snowbird
  c) drunk or right in front of a policecar

and you are certainly:
  a) pissing everyone else off
  b) in mortal danger

3. At night, every 58th car MUST have its headlights off. This is both to test your alertness and to discover whether or not you believe the gang initiation myth. Really. We keep track of how many people DON’T flash their headlights at us out of fear.

4. Pedestrians do NOT have the right of way. Well, that’s not entirely true. They have the legal right of way, but cars are bigger and more common, so move it. I mean, do you want to be right, or do you want to be in one piece? Besides, what are you doing walking around outside? It’s hot. Go to the mall if you want to take a walk.

5. Blinkers/turn signals/indicators are for telling people that YOU found the shady parking spot at the mall first, and they’d better not take it. Otherwise turn signals are completely optional because…

6. That middle lane in the road with the solid yellow lines on the outside edges and the dotted lines in the middle? The white lane to the far right of the road with the big arrow pointing right? Those are turn lanes. If someone is in one of those, they’re turning. If someone is slowing down annoyingly and in one of the outer lanes, they’re turning. If someone has pulled right in front of you, they’re changing lanes. Blinking lights are overkill and a waste of time. (Unless they’re on your house. Then they’re Christmas decorations.)

7. Horns are for politely informing the person ahead of you that the light has turned green and they’re still sitting still. (Waving fingers are the impolite method, in case you’re wondering. Guns are the really pissed off method. It’s best to just go immediately when the light turns green but ONLY after you’ve quickly checked that no one’s running the light in the opposite direction.)

8. Speed limit 65 MPH means you should be going at least 65 MPH in the slow lane. Don’t even think of pulling into the fast lane if you’re not speeding. Unless it’s rush hour. Then, who cares, because we’ll just be sitting there anyway. Read a few bumper stickers if you get bored. Or try to guess what state the person waiting patiently to change lanes with their left turn signal on is from originally.

9. Green means go, now now now! But check both directions first, because red means hurry the <bleep> up before the cars with the green light hit you.

10. U-turns ARE legal, unless the sign says otherwise, and then they’re still “ok” unless you get caught. Ditto for right on red.

And special for you Californians:

1. You CAN legally drive in the HOV lane with only one person in your car most of the time. I promise. Read the sign posted over the HOV lane if you don’t believe me. Oh and also you can exit and enter the HOV lane at any time.

If I’ve missed anything, just let me know.