Since I work in Old Town Scottsdale, I have a random assortment of restaurants at hand for lunch. In case you ever find yourself wandering around up here wearing a t-shirt with a howling coyote on it, black knee socks, walking shorts, and your belly accentuated with a fanny pack, feel free to check these places out:

Orange Table: A kajillion wonderful things on the menu plus outdoor seating where you can stare into a wig shop and play the “If I went bald and couldn’t afford a Raquel Welch wig, which non-celebrity endorsed faux hairstyle would I buy?” game.

Blue Moose: Crispy chicken wrap is fantastic when you’re starving. Best time to go is during spring training when it’s jam packed and people are drunk and peeing on the Center for Performing Arts building.

Pink Pony: Best place to hide out in a dark booth with the air conditioner on high. This became my favorite spot to read and relax in the shadows after I realized it didn’t contain some sort of nudie cabaret act.

Karsen’s Grill: Tiny spot but great chicken salad sandwich (the measure by which I judge all eateries) and superdeeduper nice staff.

Stan’s Deli: Good matzoh ball soup. Also great air conditioning. Plus, sitting up at the bar will get you jars of pickles (another measure by which I judge all eateries) and all the condiments you can handle.

*Please note that these places are all within walking distance from my building and are by no means indicative of my full list of Old Town eateries. To be continued…